Do it in a way that works
By Bridgette Raes
What I do with clients (and in writing this newsletter every week) is to take the somewhat abstract subject of fashion and try to make it understandable and approachable for everyone. There is a theory that either you are born with style, or you are not. While I believe that this is false, I do believe that for some people being stylish comes easily, while others have to work at it. Fortunately, I was blessed with the style gene, but there are many talents that I was not born with that I have to work on. For example, math was never my strong suit and I still have to count on my fingers when I add. I often work with clients who admit that they have tremendous strengths and talents in many areas of their lives, but that being stylish is not something that comes easily to them. Because style isn’t a natural inclination for many of my clients, I try to take the abstract subject of fashion and break it down into clear, concise, approachable techniques and strategies that make sense, while not compromising individual style. It is a tough balance to strike sometimes, but I find that when I play to a client’s strengths the results are much easier to attain. Here are some ideas that you can think about to make getting dressed that much easier.
Approach getting dressed in a way that is natural for you.
At the end of a recent session, my client made an observation that I thought was very interesting. She said that she saw getting dressed like reading a recipe. Because my client enjoyed cooking and had a natural talent for it, she found that if she applied some of her natural cooking skills to getting dressed it was much more understandable for her.
Maybe you are a very analytical person, or someone who has a job that requires a lot of problem solving. Ask yourself what you are good at, or what natural skills you possess, and use them in other areas of your life - see if you can apply them to getting dressed. I think if we can access these natural skills and apply them to other areas where we struggle a bit, it can be a much easier process.
I have a client who works in banking. Her mind is very analytical, and she is always looking for the clear solution. If she went against her naturally analytical, problem solving nature and approached it with a more esoteric and artistic mindset, she would probably find herself frustrated. While my mind is much more artistic, visual and free-form, this would be a frustrating approach for her to use. While we were shopping she kept referring to certain pieces in her wardrobe as the lead pieces, and would ask me questions like, “Okay, so my brown suit is my lead piece, what should I add to this to finish the look?” My answers to her would be very cut and dried, and it wouldn’t surprise me if she went home and created a spreadsheet to manage her outfits.
Try not to go against the grain of your nature; instead, see how you can use your natural skills and apply them to getting dressed.
If you want to change your look, you have to change your thinking
I may be good at what I do, but I don’t travel with a magic wand and poof! make a client stylish. It does require work on the client’s part, in particular, being open and willing to making some changes. Making changes can come with a little discomfort, which is why not all of my clients apply what they learn.
I had a client this past week who desperately wanted to be less boring. She felt frumpy, uninspired and indifferent with her wardrobe. While working through her closet we were talking about one of the outfits that she frequently wears. The outfit was a simple pair of tailored pants and a striped button-down shirt. I knew why she was bored with the outfit; it lacked any personality because the look wasn’t finished. So I asked her how she finished the look, or how she accessorized it.
She looked at me and said, “Well I am not really into accessorizing, it isn’t something that I do.” “Okay,” I said, “but the reason why you are bored is because you are doing what a lot of women do, you are putting on a pair of pants with a top and considering yourself dressed. You aren’t dressed, you have just started. The best way to feel more unique or pulled together is to think about how you can finish or pull together this look. Maybe you can add a great handbag, or a great pair of shoes, or maybe add an interesting necklace or pair of earrings.” “Yeah, I guess so, but I really don’t want to get all caught up with that,” she said.
I looked at her and realized that while this client may want to punch up her style, her interest in making any changes simply isn’t there. She wants to stick with her old routine with an expectation of having a different result. When my clients have this attitude, there really isn’t much I can do to help them. My job is to make the suggestions, but it is up to my clients to actually implement them.
Conversely, I had a client last week whose wardrobe was a sea of black and she was bored. She wasn’t necessarily ready to let go of her somber wardrobe, but at least she was open to trying. I made my suggestions to her and she took on the task of shopping to make these changes on her own. Within days her wardrobe was transformed by adding just a few key pieces. The results caused her to feel better about how she looked, and also elicited comments from others. The positive reinforcement that she got from making these changes encouraged her to keep going and sticking with it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as the saying goes, you can’t continue do the same old thing and expect different results. If you want to look different, you are going to have to change some of the ways you do things. Like any change we make, it may feel like effort or require deliberate thought in the beginning, but after a while it becomes second nature. One of the best ways to stick with a change is to remember point one above, and apply these changes with an approach that comes naturally and easily to you.
Getting dressed made simple
Lastly, I want to give you an example of an approachable formula that I try to use with all of my clients, regardless of their style. You can always take my approach and tweak in a way that works for you.
Start with a pair of pants, for example. The pant colors that I think are mandatory in every closet are black, brown, olive, camel and grey. From there you can add a few novelty pants like tweed, plaid or pinstripe. If you are someone who wears skirts more often, I still encourage you to start with a bottom, whether it is a skirt or a pant.
Once you have chosen a bottom find a top that goes with it. Here is the key: any color that you can wear with black you can wear with all your other bottom colors. Yes ladies, olive pants work with just about any color on top. Keep in mind as well that pinstripes and tweeds can be treated like a solid, so you can wear a striped shirt, for example, with a pair of pinstriped or tweed pants.
Okay, how many of you would consider yourself done at this point? Be honest, for this is where many people would stop. But you have only set the foundation. Now it is time to pepper in the personality. Find the pop; maybe it is an interesting choice of a handbag or shoes, or maybe you can accessorize the outfit with a great necklace. Do something – anything – to polish off your look. The theory is that 25% of your wardrobe budget should be used for accessories, i.e. shoes, handbags, jewelry, belts, anything in your wardrobe that isn’t clothing.
Try applying my “Color Triple Play” technique, which means adding a hint of a third complementing color to the outfit. For example, let’s say that you are wearing a pair of olive pants with a mint green shirt as your base. (Again, yes, this does match.) Think about a color that you can pop that will compliment this color combination. Some options you can consider are adding another shade of green to this outfit, or going completely opposite and adding a color like orange or pink. Remember, the third color that you add needs to be in a much smaller proportion to the rest of the colors in the outfit. If you are adding orange for example, I would suggest adding it as a necklace color, or a pop handbag color. Remember this is just a hint, or a pop. The best place to add your third color is in your shoes, jewelry, scarf, belt or jewelry.
(c) 2005 Bridgette Raes Style Group
Signup for our weekly newsletter where we not only offer weekly style article written by Bridgette Raes, but also include Style Q&A, Upcoming events, advice from our resident "What To Do Girl", organizing, beauty and financial tips by visiting http://www.bridgetteraes.com/
What I do with clients (and in writing this newsletter every week) is to take the somewhat abstract subject of fashion and try to make it understandable and approachable for everyone. There is a theory that either you are born with style, or you are not. While I believe that this is false, I do believe that for some people being stylish comes easily, while others have to work at it. Fortunately, I was blessed with the style gene, but there are many talents that I was not born with that I have to work on. For example, math was never my strong suit and I still have to count on my fingers when I add. I often work with clients who admit that they have tremendous strengths and talents in many areas of their lives, but that being stylish is not something that comes easily to them. Because style isn’t a natural inclination for many of my clients, I try to take the abstract subject of fashion and break it down into clear, concise, approachable techniques and strategies that make sense, while not compromising individual style. It is a tough balance to strike sometimes, but I find that when I play to a client’s strengths the results are much easier to attain. Here are some ideas that you can think about to make getting dressed that much easier.
Approach getting dressed in a way that is natural for you.
At the end of a recent session, my client made an observation that I thought was very interesting. She said that she saw getting dressed like reading a recipe. Because my client enjoyed cooking and had a natural talent for it, she found that if she applied some of her natural cooking skills to getting dressed it was much more understandable for her.
Maybe you are a very analytical person, or someone who has a job that requires a lot of problem solving. Ask yourself what you are good at, or what natural skills you possess, and use them in other areas of your life - see if you can apply them to getting dressed. I think if we can access these natural skills and apply them to other areas where we struggle a bit, it can be a much easier process.
I have a client who works in banking. Her mind is very analytical, and she is always looking for the clear solution. If she went against her naturally analytical, problem solving nature and approached it with a more esoteric and artistic mindset, she would probably find herself frustrated. While my mind is much more artistic, visual and free-form, this would be a frustrating approach for her to use. While we were shopping she kept referring to certain pieces in her wardrobe as the lead pieces, and would ask me questions like, “Okay, so my brown suit is my lead piece, what should I add to this to finish the look?” My answers to her would be very cut and dried, and it wouldn’t surprise me if she went home and created a spreadsheet to manage her outfits.
Try not to go against the grain of your nature; instead, see how you can use your natural skills and apply them to getting dressed.
If you want to change your look, you have to change your thinking
I may be good at what I do, but I don’t travel with a magic wand and poof! make a client stylish. It does require work on the client’s part, in particular, being open and willing to making some changes. Making changes can come with a little discomfort, which is why not all of my clients apply what they learn.
I had a client this past week who desperately wanted to be less boring. She felt frumpy, uninspired and indifferent with her wardrobe. While working through her closet we were talking about one of the outfits that she frequently wears. The outfit was a simple pair of tailored pants and a striped button-down shirt. I knew why she was bored with the outfit; it lacked any personality because the look wasn’t finished. So I asked her how she finished the look, or how she accessorized it.
She looked at me and said, “Well I am not really into accessorizing, it isn’t something that I do.” “Okay,” I said, “but the reason why you are bored is because you are doing what a lot of women do, you are putting on a pair of pants with a top and considering yourself dressed. You aren’t dressed, you have just started. The best way to feel more unique or pulled together is to think about how you can finish or pull together this look. Maybe you can add a great handbag, or a great pair of shoes, or maybe add an interesting necklace or pair of earrings.” “Yeah, I guess so, but I really don’t want to get all caught up with that,” she said.
I looked at her and realized that while this client may want to punch up her style, her interest in making any changes simply isn’t there. She wants to stick with her old routine with an expectation of having a different result. When my clients have this attitude, there really isn’t much I can do to help them. My job is to make the suggestions, but it is up to my clients to actually implement them.
Conversely, I had a client last week whose wardrobe was a sea of black and she was bored. She wasn’t necessarily ready to let go of her somber wardrobe, but at least she was open to trying. I made my suggestions to her and she took on the task of shopping to make these changes on her own. Within days her wardrobe was transformed by adding just a few key pieces. The results caused her to feel better about how she looked, and also elicited comments from others. The positive reinforcement that she got from making these changes encouraged her to keep going and sticking with it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as the saying goes, you can’t continue do the same old thing and expect different results. If you want to look different, you are going to have to change some of the ways you do things. Like any change we make, it may feel like effort or require deliberate thought in the beginning, but after a while it becomes second nature. One of the best ways to stick with a change is to remember point one above, and apply these changes with an approach that comes naturally and easily to you.
Getting dressed made simple
Lastly, I want to give you an example of an approachable formula that I try to use with all of my clients, regardless of their style. You can always take my approach and tweak in a way that works for you.
Start with a pair of pants, for example. The pant colors that I think are mandatory in every closet are black, brown, olive, camel and grey. From there you can add a few novelty pants like tweed, plaid or pinstripe. If you are someone who wears skirts more often, I still encourage you to start with a bottom, whether it is a skirt or a pant.
Once you have chosen a bottom find a top that goes with it. Here is the key: any color that you can wear with black you can wear with all your other bottom colors. Yes ladies, olive pants work with just about any color on top. Keep in mind as well that pinstripes and tweeds can be treated like a solid, so you can wear a striped shirt, for example, with a pair of pinstriped or tweed pants.
Okay, how many of you would consider yourself done at this point? Be honest, for this is where many people would stop. But you have only set the foundation. Now it is time to pepper in the personality. Find the pop; maybe it is an interesting choice of a handbag or shoes, or maybe you can accessorize the outfit with a great necklace. Do something – anything – to polish off your look. The theory is that 25% of your wardrobe budget should be used for accessories, i.e. shoes, handbags, jewelry, belts, anything in your wardrobe that isn’t clothing.
Try applying my “Color Triple Play” technique, which means adding a hint of a third complementing color to the outfit. For example, let’s say that you are wearing a pair of olive pants with a mint green shirt as your base. (Again, yes, this does match.) Think about a color that you can pop that will compliment this color combination. Some options you can consider are adding another shade of green to this outfit, or going completely opposite and adding a color like orange or pink. Remember, the third color that you add needs to be in a much smaller proportion to the rest of the colors in the outfit. If you are adding orange for example, I would suggest adding it as a necklace color, or a pop handbag color. Remember this is just a hint, or a pop. The best place to add your third color is in your shoes, jewelry, scarf, belt or jewelry.
(c) 2005 Bridgette Raes Style Group
Signup for our weekly newsletter where we not only offer weekly style article written by Bridgette Raes, but also include Style Q&A, Upcoming events, advice from our resident "What To Do Girl", organizing, beauty and financial tips by visiting http://www.bridgetteraes.com/
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