The often overlooked wardrobe malfunctions
By Bridgette Raes
Many of us know that certain things about our wardrobe aren’t working. It certainly doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that things could be better when you are standing in front of your closet half-naked with nothing to wear. But sometimes we tend to overlook the smaller things that can be signs that our wardrobes are out of whack. Here are some warning signs:
Wardrobe Abuse
I had a conversation with a client of mine last week who was telling me how happy she is with her new wardrobe now that we have gone shopping together. One thing she noticed was that she finds herself taking better care of her new clothing. She lovingly folds or hangs everything, launders properly, and has total respect for her wardrobe because she now loves it so much.
If you find that you are being haphazard with your clothing, it may be a victim of wardrobe abuse. Now before I call the authorities on you because you are an abusive clothing owner, it may be smart to take a few minutes to understand why you abuse your clothing as you do.
In my opinion, while it may have something to do with laziness, or the fact that you are disorganized, I think the greater reason you may be abusing your wardrobe is because you don’t love it. Like anything else in life, if we love something we want to nurture it and take care of it, regardless of available time or habit. For example, if we love having someone in our life, we make it a point to always call to check in, or do nice things for them. Conversely if someone is a drain in our life we tend to avoid them or not treat them as nicely as we would if we enjoyed their presence.
The same is true for your clothing. If you are not treating your wardrobe right, start thinking about whether your wardrobe is something that you really love. If it isn’t, it may be time to start incorporating some passion pieces into your wardrobe.
Once you do this, start to notice how much better you take care of the new items in your closet that you love.
Everybody knows your name
You are up late one night watching QVC and you find this darling sweater that you just have to own. You pick up the phone, dial in, and the customer service rep says, “Hey honey, it’s been a while since we heard from you.” Girl, you got a problem. If you are someone who walks into a store and finds that the sales associate has pulled specific items that she knows you will love, or you feel like Norm from Cheers when you walk into a store, then it may be time to start assessing just how much you shop and if it is healthy.
Don’t misunderstand me, I love walking into a store and having people know me. Familiarity and customer service have taken a tremendous back seat in recent years. There is nothing better than feeling that “Everybody knows your name” but at the same time, if shopping is such a pastime for you that you find yourself planning vacations around good shopping locations, or feel that reading a store catalog is better than reading a good book, your closet is going to reflect this reality. Trust me, I don’t have to see your closet to know that it ain’t a pretty place.
Shopping for the sake of shopping can lead to a litany of problems. If we don’t manage what goes in there then eventually it will take over our lives. I have seen it a thousand times. When people are shopping freaks their closets reflect it, and their closets becomes nothing but storage bins for useless stuff that they simply had to own (but not necessarily wear.) If you buy it, be sure you intend on wearing it. If you are noticing that you are guilty of shopping for the sake of shopping, then start getting ruthless with yourself and implement some rules. The other thing is that if you already own it, you don’t need seventeen more. A few (like 3) pairs of black pants in different style silhouettes will suffice, as will a few white T-shirts (not fifty.)
Also be sure to check out the book “There Must Be More Than This: Finding More Life, Love and Meaning by Overcoming Your Soft Addiction” by Judith Wright,which is a book about learning to move beyond our soft addictions to create a life of true fulfillment and purpose.
Your dry cleaning can be scaled like Mt. Everest
You have nothing to wear, not because you don’t own anything, but because you can’t find the time to get to the dry cleaner. I suffer from this problem, so I am with all of you who can relate. Sometimes I feel that with everything else I have scheduled, the last thing I want to do is gather up dry cleaning, drop it off and deal with it. Until I could find someone who can manage the day-to-day details of my life, I knew I had to figure out some sort of game plan for the little things that pile up, like dry cleaning, tailoring, shoe repair, and all of those little annoyances that buzz like gnats in my ear.
The best way to do this is to incorporate these things into the fold of your life. This way these chores and errands seem less of a time drain because they flow with how you live your life. Establish a time that you devote to dropping off dry cleaning, going to the tailor, and doing your laundry. Keep it scheduled in your date book as something you do regularly on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Consider these activities as part of your life, the way you do grocery shopping, banking, or exercising at the gym.
Trying to find your favorite shirt is like mining for gold
Let’s be honest - you have, at one time in your life, ransacked your bedroom searching for your favorite shirt. Don’t lie; I have seen it all before. Or you have gone looking for something else and VOILA, there it is tucked away, the shirt you forgot you had.
Is wardrobe and closet management something that you have absolutely no control over? This behavior may seem as though it is a result of poor space management or not enough space in general, but let’s talk about what is really going on here. It could be that your wardrobe is more about the psychological relationship that you have to these items than it is about the actual item. Let’s look at it this way: clothing is inanimate, and past memories do not seep into the fibers of the garment locking the memory safely away. Trust me, if you part with something, you are not throwing the memory away.
Often our mismanaged wardrobes represent so much more than we are willing to admit. If you are someone who just keeps loading it up while not releasing things that do not serve you, you are creating stagnation and overwhelm in your wardrobe, and possibly your life.
When you open your closet it should be organized and contain only the things that you will actually wear. You should be able to open it and see everything. Part of the reason that many people get overwhelmed trying to figure out what to wear is not because they don’t have anything that works to choose from, but the sight of their closet disaster is simply too much for them to handle. Well, who can blame them? I have seen closets with dry cleaning bags hanging over the clothing, mismatched hangers and closets with clothing so over-packed that you can’t move anything around.
There are a few things you can do to better organize your space, but the first way to spring you into shape is to keep your closet door open for a week and force yourself to walk by your disorganized closet every day. Part of the reason we keep unruly closets is because we don’t see what is inside. One of the best things that ever happened to me when I moved into my apartment is that my closet did not have any doors. This may seem ridiculous, but those of you who read this newsletter who live in New York City and have experienced what it is like to live in a Pre-War building may understand. Because my apartment was so old I literally had to build a closet in my bedroom. Being on a rather tight budget when I moved, I could afford to install shelving, but no doors. What was great about seeing my clothing staring back at me was that if my closet got disorganized, my whole bedroom looked disorganized, so I was naturally inclined to keep it neat. You don’t have to remove the doors from your closet, but if you force yourself to keep the door open for a period of time, you may find yourself creeping in and organizing it a bit better simply because you can’t stand the sight of it. Remember, out of sight is out of mind, and doing this exercise will ensure that this doesn’t happen.
You “Wishful Wardrobe”
You’ve gone shopping and bought things for a life you don’t have. Don’t even get me started on the lack of logic inherent in this, but we all do it. We love something so much that we forgo any sense of reason. Then we bring it home, stare at it admiringly and never wear it. Sound familiar? This is what I like to call wishful wardrobing, and it’s where you can implement my classic “Where ya goin’ in that?” line, to regain control.
Wishful wardrobing happens when we shop for a life that we wish we had, not the one that we do. Listen ladies, if you aren’t ballroom dancing now but wish you did, don’t buy a pair of shoes for that hobby until it is a reality. Sometimes we are so determined to avoid acknowledging that our lives are dull, or that we really don’t have extracurricular things going on that we live in a fantasy world of denial, hoping that if we buy the clothing it will come. No, this isn’t the movie Field of Dreams, this is your wardrobe, and everything in it should support the life you lead in reality, not in your head.
To stop wishful wardrobing the first thing that you need to consistently ask yourself is “Where am I going in this?” when you consider buying something. You must be able to find somewhere to wear it, or you must leave it at the store. There is nothing wrong with thinking that in the near future you may join a bowling league or take a cooking class, or become a rock star and stay out all night, but until you actually join the league, sign up for the class or sign a record deal, leave the clothing at the store.
(c) 2005 Bridgette Raes Style Group
Sign up for our weekly newsletter where we not only offer weekly style article written by Bridgette Raes, but also include Style Q&A, Upcoming events, advice from our resident "What To Do Girl", organizing, beauty and financial tips by visiting http://www.bridgetteraes.com/
Many of us know that certain things about our wardrobe aren’t working. It certainly doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that things could be better when you are standing in front of your closet half-naked with nothing to wear. But sometimes we tend to overlook the smaller things that can be signs that our wardrobes are out of whack. Here are some warning signs:
Wardrobe Abuse
I had a conversation with a client of mine last week who was telling me how happy she is with her new wardrobe now that we have gone shopping together. One thing she noticed was that she finds herself taking better care of her new clothing. She lovingly folds or hangs everything, launders properly, and has total respect for her wardrobe because she now loves it so much.
If you find that you are being haphazard with your clothing, it may be a victim of wardrobe abuse. Now before I call the authorities on you because you are an abusive clothing owner, it may be smart to take a few minutes to understand why you abuse your clothing as you do.
In my opinion, while it may have something to do with laziness, or the fact that you are disorganized, I think the greater reason you may be abusing your wardrobe is because you don’t love it. Like anything else in life, if we love something we want to nurture it and take care of it, regardless of available time or habit. For example, if we love having someone in our life, we make it a point to always call to check in, or do nice things for them. Conversely if someone is a drain in our life we tend to avoid them or not treat them as nicely as we would if we enjoyed their presence.
The same is true for your clothing. If you are not treating your wardrobe right, start thinking about whether your wardrobe is something that you really love. If it isn’t, it may be time to start incorporating some passion pieces into your wardrobe.
Once you do this, start to notice how much better you take care of the new items in your closet that you love.
Everybody knows your name
You are up late one night watching QVC and you find this darling sweater that you just have to own. You pick up the phone, dial in, and the customer service rep says, “Hey honey, it’s been a while since we heard from you.” Girl, you got a problem. If you are someone who walks into a store and finds that the sales associate has pulled specific items that she knows you will love, or you feel like Norm from Cheers when you walk into a store, then it may be time to start assessing just how much you shop and if it is healthy.
Don’t misunderstand me, I love walking into a store and having people know me. Familiarity and customer service have taken a tremendous back seat in recent years. There is nothing better than feeling that “Everybody knows your name” but at the same time, if shopping is such a pastime for you that you find yourself planning vacations around good shopping locations, or feel that reading a store catalog is better than reading a good book, your closet is going to reflect this reality. Trust me, I don’t have to see your closet to know that it ain’t a pretty place.
Shopping for the sake of shopping can lead to a litany of problems. If we don’t manage what goes in there then eventually it will take over our lives. I have seen it a thousand times. When people are shopping freaks their closets reflect it, and their closets becomes nothing but storage bins for useless stuff that they simply had to own (but not necessarily wear.) If you buy it, be sure you intend on wearing it. If you are noticing that you are guilty of shopping for the sake of shopping, then start getting ruthless with yourself and implement some rules. The other thing is that if you already own it, you don’t need seventeen more. A few (like 3) pairs of black pants in different style silhouettes will suffice, as will a few white T-shirts (not fifty.)
Also be sure to check out the book “There Must Be More Than This: Finding More Life, Love and Meaning by Overcoming Your Soft Addiction” by Judith Wright,which is a book about learning to move beyond our soft addictions to create a life of true fulfillment and purpose.
Your dry cleaning can be scaled like Mt. Everest
You have nothing to wear, not because you don’t own anything, but because you can’t find the time to get to the dry cleaner. I suffer from this problem, so I am with all of you who can relate. Sometimes I feel that with everything else I have scheduled, the last thing I want to do is gather up dry cleaning, drop it off and deal with it. Until I could find someone who can manage the day-to-day details of my life, I knew I had to figure out some sort of game plan for the little things that pile up, like dry cleaning, tailoring, shoe repair, and all of those little annoyances that buzz like gnats in my ear.
The best way to do this is to incorporate these things into the fold of your life. This way these chores and errands seem less of a time drain because they flow with how you live your life. Establish a time that you devote to dropping off dry cleaning, going to the tailor, and doing your laundry. Keep it scheduled in your date book as something you do regularly on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Consider these activities as part of your life, the way you do grocery shopping, banking, or exercising at the gym.
Trying to find your favorite shirt is like mining for gold
Let’s be honest - you have, at one time in your life, ransacked your bedroom searching for your favorite shirt. Don’t lie; I have seen it all before. Or you have gone looking for something else and VOILA, there it is tucked away, the shirt you forgot you had.
Is wardrobe and closet management something that you have absolutely no control over? This behavior may seem as though it is a result of poor space management or not enough space in general, but let’s talk about what is really going on here. It could be that your wardrobe is more about the psychological relationship that you have to these items than it is about the actual item. Let’s look at it this way: clothing is inanimate, and past memories do not seep into the fibers of the garment locking the memory safely away. Trust me, if you part with something, you are not throwing the memory away.
Often our mismanaged wardrobes represent so much more than we are willing to admit. If you are someone who just keeps loading it up while not releasing things that do not serve you, you are creating stagnation and overwhelm in your wardrobe, and possibly your life.
When you open your closet it should be organized and contain only the things that you will actually wear. You should be able to open it and see everything. Part of the reason that many people get overwhelmed trying to figure out what to wear is not because they don’t have anything that works to choose from, but the sight of their closet disaster is simply too much for them to handle. Well, who can blame them? I have seen closets with dry cleaning bags hanging over the clothing, mismatched hangers and closets with clothing so over-packed that you can’t move anything around.
There are a few things you can do to better organize your space, but the first way to spring you into shape is to keep your closet door open for a week and force yourself to walk by your disorganized closet every day. Part of the reason we keep unruly closets is because we don’t see what is inside. One of the best things that ever happened to me when I moved into my apartment is that my closet did not have any doors. This may seem ridiculous, but those of you who read this newsletter who live in New York City and have experienced what it is like to live in a Pre-War building may understand. Because my apartment was so old I literally had to build a closet in my bedroom. Being on a rather tight budget when I moved, I could afford to install shelving, but no doors. What was great about seeing my clothing staring back at me was that if my closet got disorganized, my whole bedroom looked disorganized, so I was naturally inclined to keep it neat. You don’t have to remove the doors from your closet, but if you force yourself to keep the door open for a period of time, you may find yourself creeping in and organizing it a bit better simply because you can’t stand the sight of it. Remember, out of sight is out of mind, and doing this exercise will ensure that this doesn’t happen.
You “Wishful Wardrobe”
You’ve gone shopping and bought things for a life you don’t have. Don’t even get me started on the lack of logic inherent in this, but we all do it. We love something so much that we forgo any sense of reason. Then we bring it home, stare at it admiringly and never wear it. Sound familiar? This is what I like to call wishful wardrobing, and it’s where you can implement my classic “Where ya goin’ in that?” line, to regain control.
Wishful wardrobing happens when we shop for a life that we wish we had, not the one that we do. Listen ladies, if you aren’t ballroom dancing now but wish you did, don’t buy a pair of shoes for that hobby until it is a reality. Sometimes we are so determined to avoid acknowledging that our lives are dull, or that we really don’t have extracurricular things going on that we live in a fantasy world of denial, hoping that if we buy the clothing it will come. No, this isn’t the movie Field of Dreams, this is your wardrobe, and everything in it should support the life you lead in reality, not in your head.
To stop wishful wardrobing the first thing that you need to consistently ask yourself is “Where am I going in this?” when you consider buying something. You must be able to find somewhere to wear it, or you must leave it at the store. There is nothing wrong with thinking that in the near future you may join a bowling league or take a cooking class, or become a rock star and stay out all night, but until you actually join the league, sign up for the class or sign a record deal, leave the clothing at the store.
(c) 2005 Bridgette Raes Style Group
Sign up for our weekly newsletter where we not only offer weekly style article written by Bridgette Raes, but also include Style Q&A, Upcoming events, advice from our resident "What To Do Girl", organizing, beauty and financial tips by visiting http://www.bridgetteraes.com/
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