Forget the rules and just wail
By Bridgette Raes
"You've got to learn your instrument. Then, you practice, practice, practice. And then, when you finally get up there on the bandstand, forget all that and just wail."
-- Charlie Parker
I like to think about this quote as it relates to developing your own style. What makes a woman stylish is learning the rules of getting dressed, and then forgetting all that and just wailing.
This may sound like a contradictory statement, especially to clients whom I have given clear-cut rules on getting dressed. I can just hear my more analytical clients now, “What do you mean forget the rules?!?!? I need the rules!!!!!” So let me preface this by saying that in order to forget the rules and just wail, you need to know the rules first. Imagine if Charlie Parker got up on stage with no idea how to play his instrument and just wailed, without knowing how to play a tune. How awful would he sound? Like Charlie Parker playing his instrument, you need to know the basic rules for getting dressed before you can just let it go. But just like anyone can learn notes and play an instrument, anyone can put clothes on and get dressed. Unique and individual style can only be successful if you know the parameters in which you can play. The difference when your style wails is in the passion, the expression and the YOU that is in what you wear. Charlie Parker had these elements in his music, and this is what made him a legend.
What I am asking you to think about this week is where you may have let the YOU slip out of your wardrobe, or whether it was ever even there in the first place. I have said countless times to clients (while going through their closets) that I could be in their neighbor’s closet and not know the difference, because there is absolutely nothing in there that reveals their unique personality or their style.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say you want to redecorate your kitchen. You know that a kitchen needs some basic elements like a refrigerator, a sink, a stove, a place to eat, maybe a dishwasher. It isn’t a kitchen without these components in the room. But your kitchen probably looks much different than the kitchen at your friend’s or neighbor’s home. You can probably admire her kitchen, but you know that this isn’t a style that you would choose for your own kitchen. The same is true with your style; the tile, the color of your refrigerator, the walls and even the kitchen table are choices that you make for yourself based on what attracts you.
There is no difference when it comes to creating your own clothing style, but somehow we get led astray when it comes to figuring out what is best for us to wear. We forget how to wail with our own style. Yes, a wardrobe needs some basic components, and you do need to know the rules that work for your own body, just like Charlie Parker needed to know how to play music.
Don’t know your style? What’s your magnetic connection?
Finding your own style isn’t something that you can locate externally. You can use external elements to inspire you and help you discover it, but dressing like someone else isn’t going to make your style wail. Finding your style takes just going to one place -- inside yourself.
In a time when we are bombarded with television shows, images and people telling us what we should and shouldn’t be wearing, buying or liking, it is hard to quiet the noise around us and just pay attention to what attracts us.
The best place to start is to look for your magnetic connections. What makes you stop and pay attention? What are the things that you like, or that make you feel good to have around? Start by asking yourself some of the basic questions of attraction like: What is your favorite color? What movies can you watch over and over again? What type of music do you love? Is there an artist whose work moves you? How do you like to spend your weekends? What really makes YOU tick? You will be amazed by how many dots start to get connected, and you may start to see a pattern in your magnetic connections that you never realized.
I remember once telling a friend that I love Tim Burton movies because there is always a visual quirkiness to them. I have also always found myself attracted to Moschino (designed by the late designer, Franco Moschino) because his clothing always had a quirky, lighthearted irreverence to it. I have a lighthearted and quirky side to my personality, and any chance I get to act silly is a good time had by me.
What my friend pointed out through all my magnetic connections and things that make me tick was that they always have a unique quirky twist, even though my style is very classically stylish. I like stylish things as long as they are partnered with some irreverent detail or visual uniqueness. When these irreverent elements are wailing is when my style is most alive, and when I am feeling like the real me is wailing.
If you are feeling daunted by the process of getting to know your magnetic connections, start by just being mindful of what you positively notice and what magnetically attracts you. A great book to consider using as a guide is a book called All About Me by Phillip Keel. This book is a journal filled with checklists and fill-in-the-blank questions divided into 25 categories, including sexuality, ego, wishes & dreams, opinions, emotions, memories, and choices. This is a great book to help you improve your self knowledge.
Another book I recommend is 10 Steps to Fashion Freedom: Discover Your Personal Style From the Inside Out by Malcolm Levene and Kate Mayfield. This style book is more a psychological voyage than fashion journey, and a great read for anyone looking to looking to go inside themselves to figure out what to wear on the outside.
"You've got to learn your instrument. Then, you practice, practice, practice. And then, when you finally get up there on the bandstand, forget all that and just wail."
-- Charlie Parker
I like to think about this quote as it relates to developing your own style. What makes a woman stylish is learning the rules of getting dressed, and then forgetting all that and just wailing.
This may sound like a contradictory statement, especially to clients whom I have given clear-cut rules on getting dressed. I can just hear my more analytical clients now, “What do you mean forget the rules?!?!? I need the rules!!!!!” So let me preface this by saying that in order to forget the rules and just wail, you need to know the rules first. Imagine if Charlie Parker got up on stage with no idea how to play his instrument and just wailed, without knowing how to play a tune. How awful would he sound? Like Charlie Parker playing his instrument, you need to know the basic rules for getting dressed before you can just let it go. But just like anyone can learn notes and play an instrument, anyone can put clothes on and get dressed. Unique and individual style can only be successful if you know the parameters in which you can play. The difference when your style wails is in the passion, the expression and the YOU that is in what you wear. Charlie Parker had these elements in his music, and this is what made him a legend.
What I am asking you to think about this week is where you may have let the YOU slip out of your wardrobe, or whether it was ever even there in the first place. I have said countless times to clients (while going through their closets) that I could be in their neighbor’s closet and not know the difference, because there is absolutely nothing in there that reveals their unique personality or their style.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say you want to redecorate your kitchen. You know that a kitchen needs some basic elements like a refrigerator, a sink, a stove, a place to eat, maybe a dishwasher. It isn’t a kitchen without these components in the room. But your kitchen probably looks much different than the kitchen at your friend’s or neighbor’s home. You can probably admire her kitchen, but you know that this isn’t a style that you would choose for your own kitchen. The same is true with your style; the tile, the color of your refrigerator, the walls and even the kitchen table are choices that you make for yourself based on what attracts you.
There is no difference when it comes to creating your own clothing style, but somehow we get led astray when it comes to figuring out what is best for us to wear. We forget how to wail with our own style. Yes, a wardrobe needs some basic components, and you do need to know the rules that work for your own body, just like Charlie Parker needed to know how to play music.
Don’t know your style? What’s your magnetic connection?
Finding your own style isn’t something that you can locate externally. You can use external elements to inspire you and help you discover it, but dressing like someone else isn’t going to make your style wail. Finding your style takes just going to one place -- inside yourself.
In a time when we are bombarded with television shows, images and people telling us what we should and shouldn’t be wearing, buying or liking, it is hard to quiet the noise around us and just pay attention to what attracts us.
The best place to start is to look for your magnetic connections. What makes you stop and pay attention? What are the things that you like, or that make you feel good to have around? Start by asking yourself some of the basic questions of attraction like: What is your favorite color? What movies can you watch over and over again? What type of music do you love? Is there an artist whose work moves you? How do you like to spend your weekends? What really makes YOU tick? You will be amazed by how many dots start to get connected, and you may start to see a pattern in your magnetic connections that you never realized.
I remember once telling a friend that I love Tim Burton movies because there is always a visual quirkiness to them. I have also always found myself attracted to Moschino (designed by the late designer, Franco Moschino) because his clothing always had a quirky, lighthearted irreverence to it. I have a lighthearted and quirky side to my personality, and any chance I get to act silly is a good time had by me.
What my friend pointed out through all my magnetic connections and things that make me tick was that they always have a unique quirky twist, even though my style is very classically stylish. I like stylish things as long as they are partnered with some irreverent detail or visual uniqueness. When these irreverent elements are wailing is when my style is most alive, and when I am feeling like the real me is wailing.
If you are feeling daunted by the process of getting to know your magnetic connections, start by just being mindful of what you positively notice and what magnetically attracts you. A great book to consider using as a guide is a book called All About Me by Phillip Keel. This book is a journal filled with checklists and fill-in-the-blank questions divided into 25 categories, including sexuality, ego, wishes & dreams, opinions, emotions, memories, and choices. This is a great book to help you improve your self knowledge.
Another book I recommend is 10 Steps to Fashion Freedom: Discover Your Personal Style From the Inside Out by Malcolm Levene and Kate Mayfield. This style book is more a psychological voyage than fashion journey, and a great read for anyone looking to looking to go inside themselves to figure out what to wear on the outside.
posted by Unknown @ 7:51 PM
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